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7:15am
A WAY IN A MANGER
The team from Connolly’s RED MILLS crunch the carrots and provide tips on giving your point-to-pointer that special Christmas feed.
It’s all Foran Equine

8.0
TURKEY, GOOSE OR FRESH AIR?

Slimmer of the year and former national champion Jack Andrews – who whittled his 6ft 5in frame down to 9st 13lb (!!) to ride at Wetherby on Saturday – reveals the secrets of his Christmas lunch. When it comes to ingredients, says Jack, there’s really nothing in it

9.0
NEWS

There’s no racing, so there is no news

9.01am
THE PRICE IS RIGHT

Ynysybwl trainer Luke Price with tips on how to train a lot of winners – and pronounce the name of the village in which he lives

10.20am
HORSES UNDER THE HAMMER

Teams from Tattersalls Cheltenham and Goffs go head to head in a ThoroughBid to get the most dosh for your horse

12.00
ENTENTE CORDIALE

Lessons in French for novice riders as they prepare to team up with the likes of Diplomate Sivola, Vango de Vaige, Hubrisko and Jasmin Des Bordes later this week. Don’t say ‘Where are the brakes on this thing?’ when you mean ‘Où sont les freins sur cet engin?’

1.05pm
INTERLUDE

The judge is struggling with her iPad. Your patience is appreciated

1.35pm
CASUALTY

A brief history of abandoned meetings

2.10pm
PIRATES OF THE CAR I'VE BEEN IN
Alan Long-Johns Silver and Claire Yo-Ho Me Hart-y star in our Christmas matinee. Armed with a pair of blue mics and driving an Isuzu D-Max, the swashbuckling duo attempt to fend off Johnny Debt in search of the last unexplored place on earth – the bottom of a bookmaker’s satchel. Co-starring Mick Easterby as Sheriff Hutton.
(No parrots were harmed in the making of this production)
Director: Paul Miller
Producer: Tiggy Vale-Titterton
Film: West Country Videos


4.40pm
THE KING AT CHRISTMAS

National champion James King with messages of peace and goodwill to all his changing tent colleagues (but suggests they don’t come up his inner and no, he’s not handing his crown to William [Biddick] any time soon)

5.15pm
NEWS

See 9.0, Stupid . . .

5.16pm
WEATHER FORECAST
Will there be Barton Snow, rain dear, or will it just be Bitterley cold? If Huw Edwards (not that one) gets a Going Stick for Christmas and Laura Richardson can understand the instructions we might get predictions for Chaddesley Corbett and Horseheath

5.25pm
THE HOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST

Lucy Felton, Clare Hazell and Peter Wright with seasonal reflections of their time in the PPA’s hot seat

6.00
TALLY HO-MALONE

Racing Come Dancing champions Tom & Sara Malone at their snow den with a Santa special routine. Sara twists and Tom sticks to a medley of tunes, including Little Donkey and Handel’s Messiah

7.30pm
SCALES OF JUSTICE

Clerks of the Scales reveal the tricks that riders try to pull after a surfeit of mince pies and Christmas pudding

8.00
GAVIN & STACEY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Starring Rob Varnham as Gavin and Beverley Thomas as Stacey in this rompacom from the South East to South Wales. Phil ‘Yorky’ York is Smithy, Tim Jones doubles as Bryn West and Nessa Jenkins, Johnny Tudor is Dave Coaches

9.30pm
CHRISTMAS IN THE HIGHLANDS

The teams from Friars Haugh, Overton and Pusk head north for a headbanger of festive tunes. Ear defenders are recommended

10.30pm
THE MAGIC ROUNDABOUT

A look at the ever-changing list of national champions

11pm
GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN
Party girl Gina Andrews looks ahead to New Year’s Eve, but says if you want a Latenightrumble you’d better get a Latenightpass from your husband

Midnight
CLOSEDOWN
Best wishes for Christmas and the New Year from the Point-to-Point Authority and Point-to-Point Racing Company (and Carl Evans)